STEPPING OUT OF ABUSE
It’s never pretty when you leave an abusive and controlling relationship. The warden always protests when the prison gets shut-down.
Abusers would use you and replace you instantly without a conscience, being preoccupied with fantasies, lack of empathy and in need of admiration, Abusers come in many personality types, they pick their victims to torture them, then play the helpless victim. Predators are brilliant at playing the victim, but they cannot fool everyone. It is all a big game and something you don’t want to be a part of. Although having an unrealistic sense of superiority and a big appetite for more, they would try to include you out of desperation for their need of supplies. Accept with gratitude that their part in your story is over. You have absolutely no need for an abuser, no need to even respond to one “keep moving on”.
They love projecting and are extremely good at coating lies, sending mixed messages and pretending. All the drama will be a waste of time, you cannot afford to keep a relationship with a deceptive character, and the unfortunate truth is the person you are hoping for does not exist.
Predators cannot co-parent and would do everything to portray you as a bad parent, even when they were never in the life of their children. I thank God my children are now adults. It is a little too late.
It is disturbing to deal with someone who has no conscience, who is capable of committing treacherous acts and can behave like everything is completely cool while behind closed doors, plots are set in motion using the muscle of organisations to parade conflicting stories to continue the cycle of use and dump. Forget about feeling sorry for yourself; now is the time to stand firm and move on with your life.
Take a stand to have value and respect for your self. Someone who has enjoyed neglecting, replacing, using, mistreating or disrespecting you, ignore your feelings and decisions for years or decades is not worth your time any longer. You will be amazed at how life-changing the steady flow of peace would restore your heart when you make that decision to leave a toxic relationship.
Abuse affects your self-esteem; however, you can build your confidence back by empowering and loving yourself. When you love yourself and walk away from abuse, you would regain peace, joy, strength and a good quality of life irrespective of tantrums covered with deception pulled by the abuser. The relationship if there was ever any was too toxic to survive without the power of God to protect you.
I believe the best service to the child is the service closest to the child, and children who are victims of neglect, abuse, or abandonment must not also be victims of bureaucracy. They deserve our devoted attention, not our divided attention.
Thank you Pastor Anita for providing this opportunity to us. May God continue to bless and prosper you in Jesus name, amen!
Manipulation: Generally, manipulation is indirect influence on someone to behave in a way that furthers the goals of the manipulator. Often, it expresses covert aggression. Think of a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” On the surface, the words seem harmless – even complimentary; but underneath you feel demeaned or sense a hostile intent.
Read about narcissistic abuse.
Thank you woman of God
This is eye opener
Many people including me are in the same mess
But thank God I have set the record straight in my marriage and am free indeed
The manipulation continues and grows as they observe you mature . " you cant go into a relationship" , you are not supposed to bring someone to your father to say you want to marry the person , its the father that gives a daughter in marriage" , " you should not be distracted with the desire to marriage , ministry and service to God should be paramount"
You know what , I feel sorry for parents that are so unconnected with there children and assume there children are with one caring pastor outside just because the pastor bought the children a car or sends Christmas gift to the parents. many of this pastors are sexual predators, they have totally messed up the mind and thinking of your child without you knowing . Many who were children then are now in there forties , still carrying camera and parading around in high heel shoe. no husband , no child , no home , no investment , absolute nothing .
the worse of it all is that he has now told them to leave Facebook , WhatsApp and all forms of social media . he said those platforms are sponsored by the devil . So it is almost impossible to reach your friends and your children. They are trapped .
I am pained but I have a question for Pastor Anita . all the while these atrocities were brooding and increasing , many tried to reach out to you but you turned your face away like you didn't see it . I know you were trying to keep your marriage and make your man happy but at what expense was this . at the expense of destruction of lives , raping of young ladies and several abortions around . Pastor why did you turn your eyes away ?
I want to say it till forever.
My heart is so happy that you finally found foot to leave. No matter how long it took. Lives have been destroyed,a lot of water has gone under the bridge but, God is full of mercy. He can heal and restore.