Get The Scissors

“I refuse to let the standards of evil people chip away at my capacity for integrity.” Stefan Molyneux

Yesterday is gone however you have today. Pains will have left scares, hurt and bruises. If it happened yesterday it does not have to dictate your future, leave the events of yesterday behind and challenge yourself with the bliss of today and tomorrow

Holding unto the past is an additional burden and baggage, unconsciously weighing you down from moving forward. This can have a negative affect on your immune system, which can eat away at you, leading to all forms of illnesses from depression to cancer.

Let the past go away, rather embrace what you can do today. Allow yourself to breathe by releasing the weight of the past and let it go. One will feel happy and lighter knowing the past has no power over you.

The person or condition may not change, however this is your opportunity to replace the past and create new memories. It could be a person, people, place or things, visualize a beautiful life ahead for yourself and enjoy that life everyday.

To help you forget the pain of the past and move on with your life, throw out memorabilia, get rid of pictures, objects that remind you of a hurtful person or past events. I didn’t have much to throw away but I did any way.

Hurting people hurt others; in other words those who hurt others have issues with themselves. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Don’t allow their callous nature change you.

Forgive yourself for staying in the abuse and ignoring all the warning signs, it was not your fault, so don’t hold anything against yourself. When you forgive, you gain strength for the healing process to take place.

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Louise

INTEGRITY......this can seem such a BIG word but in reality it is so simple. I personally believe everyone will be tested on integrity but surely it is as much to discover who you are as it is to help you hold on to what TRULY matters. As my rabbi says, "The more things change, the more we must depend on things that NEVER change" INTEGRITY never changes - it is worth throwing everything away just to keep! Thank you so much for this article and site

Lade O.

"Hurting people hurt others; in other words those who hurt others have issues with themselves. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Don’t allow their callous nature change you." "the past has no power over you" Such powerful words! These are words of true encouragement. There are so many silent victims of abuse with no where to turn because they will be further abused by those who should comfort and help them. I am grateful for such a site as this. Thank you so much Pastor Anita.

Lade O.

An awesome blog. It is important to know while one has forgiven, one should not put oneself in the position for further abuse. Forgiveness means you let go of the hurt and your feeling for revenge. (Vengance truly should be the Lord's). However, the abused should make room for their own healing. God loves us individually. We need to love ourselves as much as God loves us. Love yourself enough to avoid your abuser till you are healed and strong. Realise this... "Abusers are well defended in their behavior. They honestly believe that they are the victims not the villains. Their sense of reality has been skewed all of their life and changing would involve psychologically reorganizing a life-long pattern of socialization. Never engage abusers, this is what they want and need." "Abusers have to first become aware of what they are doing. And then they have to want to change." Forgive but Focus on your healing. Pray for your abuser but love yourself as Christ loves you.

Lade O.

“I refuse to let the standards of evil people chip away at my capacity for integrity.” Stefan Molyneux What a statement! The Bible says it all- '...Your task is be true not popular.' “There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests—look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular." Luke.6.26.msg

Precious

Inspiring , instructive and a source of courage to the body of christ at this hour . May the mighty hand of God continually rest upon you . May the peace of God guard your heart and strenghten you continually

Eddy

Hurting people like to project their insecurities and shortcomings on others, and try to make people as miserable as they are, remove their power by forgiving them, letting go of the past and look to brighter future...ain't God grand!

Tati

You are right,we always ignore the warning signs.There is always an inner voice that cautions us but we ignore and keep going,wasting so much time,investing our strength in things which lead us no where.

Theodora Ediale

I am so excited in my Spirit and these articles are very much needed and appreciated. Those who hurt others really have issues with themselves Congratulations Pastor Anita. This site is what need now and I thank God for your life. I love you. am putting the site on my Facebook page and tweeting it now

Christine

Thanks for your messages which are indepth and inspiring. My question is " what is God's stance on we attaining our happiness in this life. Do we remain in situations we have found ourselves because we feel we will disobey God in our pursuit for happiness ."Does God wants us happy?"

Nelson

Absolutely right !! Just shared it to someone now ..

Bethany Davies

Thank you, Anita! You're posts are like a breath of fresh air! Keep 'em coming!

Ama Onyinye

Thanks For sharing! It's my Story. GBU

Rebecca

As I experienced! ?

Bunmi Kuye

what a word in season, thank you for sharing. it really bless me.

Bunmi Kuye

what a word in season, thank you for sharing. it really bless me.

Karl Amata

We're encouraged not to give up hope, so why should we give up hope of that beautiful future we envisaged with the abuser? Which never seems to materialise though we prayed,cried,fasted and put up a brave face even when it was unbearable? Why stop if God has taken all our pain away? If we still feel pain after years is it because we're trying go take over rather than let God? If we can still look at photos of the abuser and still love them, as God said we should, even our enemies, is it not worthy of self congratulations rather than trying to bury them and there painful memories of all the lies? If God brought us through why should we stop having good compassion though the abuser seems unworthy as they carry on in ignorance of the hurt they are causing? If we can't find a way can God not? God does not like divorce ...If we want to please God why change our faith ,beliefs, the Word of God ,go against His will and pray His will be done? Who's will? Do we become like the Pharasee who walks past the dying man ? God will never give us more than we can carry, but might people? What is the hope for humanity? Where is the victory? The enemy is stealing, killing and destroying what could be loving, peaceful, long suffering relationships and families. Why is there so little love among men?

Hmmm, this is very interesting and inspiring it has enabled me to see life differently.

peace

Ameen. These words are powerful because its the truth. Release your self. Yes you have been hurt, have scars, have pain, but do not be angry ???? anymore, bitter, revengeful, spiteful. FORGIVE and do not block your blessings!!!. Every journey has a reason and purpose. It is to prepare you for your real jouney

Ng of the most high

Hallelujah, this is so true Pastor, it pays to forgive big time although it took a while but St the end I had peace. So take that bold step to forgiving someone who has hurt you and allow the Holy Spirit to heal you gradually in his own way.

Ngozi N

Mmmmmmm...., Pastor God is against the bands that the abusers use to trap his victims. You were created in his own image and you are not to put up with any kind of abuse be it emotional, varbal, mental, spiritual or physical. So as a child of God refuse intimidation of any sort, timidity, mediocrity and abuse. You are special, masterpiece, unique and a success. Thank God for you and God blessings Pastor.

jimmy chuks

Amen, My Dear Pastor. Am blessed by this. May heaven be bless today. And may God Almighty continue to inspire you in all your doing.

jimmy chuks

Amen, My Dear Pastor. Am blessed by this. May heaven be bless today. And may God Almighty continue to inspire you in all your doing.

Ngozi N

Pastor thank you so much for your reply and thank God for strengthing you. Thank you also for sharing with us. Thank you for not succumbing to operation and intimidation (Isaiah 54:15).

jimmy chuks

Amen, My Dear Pastor. Am blessed by this. May heaven be bless today. And may God Almighty continue to inspire you in all your doing.

Rose

All I can say is "wow"! This is so true. I love every bit of what you said and it's very encouraging and inspiring. God bless you.

Steffi

"Why stop if God has taken all our pain away?" Why carry and suffer the pain God has taken away? Isn't it needless to suffer why Christ has suffered for us?

Steffi

" Pains will have left scares, hurt and bruises. If it happened yesterday it does not have to dictate your future, leave the events of yesterday behind and challenge yourself with the bliss of today and tomorrow". This is my personal testimony. Never give up on that beautiful future that you desire. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ??Jeremiah? ?29:11? ?KJV?? God's plans for us is good! Thank you Pastor for being a source of inspiration.

Victoria

Let God vindicate you... In his time

Charles Nwaoshai

Pastor, the joy of the Lord is our strength, Christ is our hope, our joy and our strength. With him and in him we can do all things. I thank God for your faith and victory which is obvious for all to see.

belovedwan

Thanks precious Pastor Anita. God bless you richly!

Nkem ndiche-onyejizu

thank you p.anita. Integrity can not be bought. It is priceless. In today's world integrity is scarce but Jesus was a man of integrity. His yes was yes and his nay was nay. Jesus way remains the standard. we shed off every weight that stands between us and his purpose for our individual lives. I have been through a lot and forgiveness is key. life is happening daily and we learn hard lessons from it.

Sarudzai

It is a very challenging area to discuss. Its true that remaining in an abusive environment will affect your health. Distancing yourself from that hurtful place is the beginning of healing. Yes God does not like divorce but he will not force two people to will and desire to change and repair. If one decides to change and the other does not, the one who is changing for the better will remain in pain and ultimately suffer. Its so tough but marriage is one of the areas that God cannot magic up a repair for us. It takes the concious choice of the two individuals. How do i fight another persons choice unless i persuade them. Even salvation comes by the way of choice. Using the scissors on anything you started is by no means easy. It seems that whatever choice you make is wrong. But christ died for it all. And no matter what i have to work out my own salvation and trust that God loves me still even if others forsake me for my choice. Thanks for an amazing post Pastor Anita.

John M

Well said. This is truly inspiring.

Victoria

Thanks a million Pastor Anita for sharing this, I am blessed, more lessons to learn in life. God bless you Pastor, I am sharing this with my friends

Kenneth Okoko

Thank you so much Pastor for sharing these wonderful insights with us. I pray that the Good Lord will continue to strengthen you and grant you increase on all sides in Jesus Name!

Fadera Williams

Karl, We all have only one life and living it to please God and fulfill his plans are the most important reasons. I personally believe for Pastor Anita to have stayed this long, she must have considered every other reason but herself. Unselfishly remaining in a relationship for the sake of the gospel and forgetting that she will stand before her master as an individual and not a Mrs. We give god praise that He remains in the business of fixing lives.I am certain he will honour and glorify appropriately and all will see.

Emy

Thank you pastor, I am so inspired by this writing, it shows having faith in God will see us through anything in our lives. Thank you for speaking out. God bless.

Adetola Onwuka

Its an honor to learn from someone who has felt the pain; whose words are not mere words put together to sound "knowledgeable" I salute your courage to lead women to a place of strength we so desperately need to be, even if we deny it.

Ehi

Jesus not only came to give us life but also for us to enjoy life abundantly (John 10:10). For us to enjoy life abundantly, we must know and walk in the will of God for us. This is where Romans 12:1-2 and Ephesians 1:16-19 comes in; as we know the person of Jesus more and take on his thinking and attitudes (become more like Him), He will direct our paths and teach us as in Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG) how to enjoy our lives. Jesus will lead us in the way of "Christianity" and not the way of "Religion." As long as it is burdensome, its not God. If it is not joyful, its not God. Joy is freedom.

Sissy

All your articles are really inspiring. Thank you pastor Anita

janny

Thank you pastor, I needed to hear this. God bless you

Onyinye

Hurting people hurt others.

Marvy

God bless you for this wonderful piece

Emma

God bless you

Skittles

Thank you Pastor. But how can I forgive? He left me with a son. My son means everything to me now. He is my world. But I remember all the wickedness in the father when I see my son who Looks so much like him. He deceived me. He stole from me. He embarAssed me. He duped me..and he left me. I can't forgive him

Chichi

Abuse can be physical, emotional and financial. Staying in an abusive marriage or relationship strips a person of their joy in life, the pain can lead to a depleted immune system which leads to a lot of serious health issues and sometimes eventually death.. Anyone who remains in abuse is actually giving up their life and joy for an abuser who really does not care about them. That is not Gods will for anyone! God wants us whole and In good health even as our souls prosperous. So anything that depletes my health is not of God.. Period!!! Leaving an abusive situation is having value for your life. I left a seriously abusive situation 4 years ago and have never looked back. It was not an easy journey but my healing started when I truly forgave myself for putting myself through it and ultimately forgiving my abuser. You must release the hurt and give it completely to God. I had a journey of self discovery through the word of God and opened my heart to receive all of Gods love and divine peace..I realised that when I truly forgave I was doing myself a favour! So thank you pastor, your posts have been so inspirational...I can relate with every word you have posted. Thank you for coming out and reaching.. You are blessing so many women right now who have been or are in an abusive situation. God bless you

Chichi

@Skittles, just as pastor has said forgiveness is the key. I totally relate with what you are going through right now because I have been there myself and have a child like you. Yes he did all that to you but you see he is the one that has the problem and his abuse is based on his own deep rooted issues. God knows all that you've been through and he can help you forgive him. Release all the hurt to God in prayer, let him take it all.

Dre Mama

Very True that Pastor Anita.

aguwa godwin

Good bless u

my opinion

True*

chio

Thanks pastor Anita. God bless and keep you. i would like to communicate more, could you reply through my email address. I am also battling with forgiveness and healing from events from the past. Thanks again.

Marvy

God bless you for this wonderful piece

Emma

God bless you

Chichi

Michael David

was not loving myself because of some abuses and difficulties in the past. I embraced the love of God and put away the past, now I'm enjoying a beautiful life with my family and have good friends. Praise God.

Lekan olawoye

Dear Skittles you must not forget that Gods message to us is to forgive those that hurt us. When we do , we receive the blessing of obedience to His Word as well as bring closure to our suffering and pain. The only way to move forward and lead a truly happy future for yourself and son is to release yourself from the shackles of the past by forgiving. Only then will Gods joy well up in you. Everyday keep saying " I forgive you"(his name) until you eventually do. Finally, your son is not his father but another creation of God no matter how much he looks like his dad. Don't ruin your relationship with him by seeing him as his dad. Build your bond with your son with love and joy so that he grows up emotionally sound. Wishing you a glorious life ahead! Stay blessed. By the way, keep smiling!

Ehi Oyabure

Pastor, thank you for the inspiring words on this platform. You have always taught us God's Word with TRUTH, LIGHT, LOVE and ENTERNITY in mind. We pray God continues to use you to bless and administer grace to many in the world. When you speak, your words are wise, and you give instructions with kindness. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all. We pray that God continually endows you with strength and dignity; and you laugh without fear of the future. Oh Lord, please reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. Thanks for being a blessing to your world!

Naomi

Society has held women bound to abusive relationships. Can we truly make heaven with bitterness in our hearts but a show of deception of a happy marriage? Many of us stay afraid of ridicule, of disapproval. It takes strength to be able to say Enough. A cry for help.

Uche

Forgiveness is the key to happiness and peace of mind.. Thank you pastor..

Audrey

“I refuse to let the standards of evil people chip away at my capacity for integrity.” Stefan Molyneux - This is a great statement. Integrity is an invaluable virtue especially nowadays when there is pressure to please man and people compromising their integrity for recognition, position, money and power. God values integrity, it is His nature. We should hear more about it as Christians. There will always be times where our integrity is put to the test, but listening to the Holy Spirit in our heart will make us chose right. God honours integrity, even if your choice or decision looked foolish in the eyes of man and it may not be easy, there is a reward for it, it is a protection. Prov 10:9, prov 11:3.

Precious

We need to start to talk about our "religious endorsements" of people, especially those who are hurting or worse still callous. I remember, as a young christian, I used to attend a certain church and as a worker, my husband was already hand-picked for me. Thankfully, I could see through his "laziness" and eventually left the church altogether. Religiously endorsed individuals are the worst abusers as no-one will think them capable of evil. We need to start to re-think our Christian beliefs and go back to understanding God's love and not only His ability to make us live in prosperity. Love covers a multitude of sins and helps us become our best selves to the glory of God. A man/woman without love in their heart can never show forth Godiliness. I think prosperity, cult like followings are a distraction from the message of God. Let me not digress, great write up and more importantly we need to start to focus on "before the I dos". Manipulative people tend to reveal who they are but if we religiously endorse them, we make excuses that mostly end up costing us more.

Ndu

Some true words...

Nike

Well said. X

Anita

Woaw, I am so glad about this website, everything you have said ma is very true from deception to hurt and forgiveness and like you put it I must not allow anything on earth to take me to hell. Truly hurting people hurt others. You spoke to my heart thank u, I will visit everyday to get inspirations from this site.Thank you so much ma may God bless you. Anita.

Golden

Well said....experience speaks volume.Am so proud of pastor Anita

Esther Kiobel

I am blessed and highly favoured. Thank you

Eric

Spot on!

Emeka Anene

God heals all hurts and pains, if we let Him, leaving no memory of the past. He is the master healer, so go to Him! No man or woman is worth making your life a misery, so get beyond them, move forward and keep moving, till you are so far ahead with God, they become like a speck in the dust. Love yourself enough to realize God loves you unconditionally and with everything in Him! He will give you a fresh start and love you all the way to your very best. Just don't stay still and have a pity party, keep moving!

Pastor thank you so much for this blog and coming out to reach to as many of us with questions in our heart. I never stopped praying for you for taking such bold step. I also prayed that God will make all the comments, scandals and what your abuser said not to get on you especially health wise. Knowing that his ego and life will go on and make people believe and not see beyond what they are being made to believe which can actually lead you to depression. But I am so so happy that God never disappoints and my woman of God is still my woman of God. Thank you my Pastor

favour

Thank God for you

Janedean

Pastor indeed our God is faithful. There is nothing so painful as being in a painful abusive relationship. it just makes you feel less. Sometimes such situation can make one even question Gods love. God loves us his children dearly and sometimes we cant really comprehend it. Thank you for being a loving person and no matter what you have gone thru, remain forgiving and faithful Ma. Our God who sees in every secret place will surely reward you openly. Thank you for uplifting my spirit with your blog

zara juliet Egbuobi

Yes pastor ur right hurting people,hurt others

MaryK

Dear Pastor, hurting people hurt others. Forgiveness is a way of putting the load down and healing. God is love and he teaches us to do the same and life can only get better. I love you and thank you for this timely word.

E.E.N.

For the very first time since I got married, I feel like I have found someone who can totally relate with my experience. When you are raised naive and godly and then marry a 'believer', you honestly don't expect certain experiences. You simply don't. There's so much that's expected of a Christian wife, especially when you sincerely love God and want to obey Him totally. You simply aren't 'permitted' to think and feel certain things, even when the pain and betrayal runs deep. You're expected to pray and fast, endure and...suck it up. Period. Bottom line: you're in hell but smile and make it work because "a wise woman builds her home". Reading your words, I feel like I will finally get a godly perspective on what I deserve and what I should no longer take. I may not have had the longest marriage but it's been a pretty rough ride. I fell into depression so great I had to see a Psychiatrist who was aghast at the depth of my depression on concluding my evaluation. I know what it's like to keep up appearances because you don't want to admit your life has fallen apart. God bless you for sharing what has to be a really sensitive issue for you. God bless you for putting others ahead of your possible pain and choosing to be a blessing and a channel for healing. You have no idea what this means to some of us. I pray that God will hold you close when you need it the most and fill the voids that you may have, until your healing is complete. You truly reflect God's love in a way few people do.

Gideon Mensah-Bonsuob

God bless you, Pastor Anita

TnL

I do so agree with you. We REALLY need to focus on the "before I dos". My husband and i have constantly stressed on that point. People know so little of themselves, let alone some other person. The sad part is, we aren't teaching people to use the signs God n nature has generously put before us, to guide our steps. Rather we preach "faith" (for what our shallow minds think it is). The end result is one too many failed relationships/marriages. This, I believe, breaks God's heart and allows the devil put a smear on God, life n Christianity. Get knowledge and in ALL your GETTINGS, get UNDERSTANDING. We need to start understanding life. God bless you, dear.

Lade O.

I truly empathise with you. There are so many naive but godly christian women especially in high profile marriages that are suffering in silence. They cannot cry out because thier main attackers will be the church. They know they will be accused of everything, from being unsubmissive to being used of the devil to destroy thier husband. So they suffer on. This is Not God's will. He came to set us free and give us abundant life- male or female. Refuse oppression- it is of the devil and never submit to abuse of any kind. God not man's opinion is all that matters. Stand strong in the liberty Christ purchased for you.

princess itua

All I have to say is thank u for been who u are now. God bless u, am so excited abt dis nd am so sure it ll heal so many broken hearts nd minds

Asabe

more grace and wisdom to you, pastor

08023

A word for the now. Pastor, can we share on our facebook page?

Jennifer Ifije

Thank you so much, this words of yours are really source of stength to me. May our good God continue to bless you.

Tony

Thank you Pastor Anita ... God bless you for the divine word . Am bless

belovedwan

Thanks dear Pastor. Your words are just so full of grace and comfort. God bless you

belovedwan

Precious, I totally agree with you. I almost had the misfortune of falling into one of such unions with a lazy, 'church endorsed',arrogant, egoistic 'man of God', handpicked by another 'man of God.' It was a disaster as I was constantly emotionally abused. I thank God for his mercy....for bringing me out, first, from that congregation and the relationship!

belovedwan

Nkem, integrity truly can't be bought. You either have it or you don't...Jesus remains the standard!

YAA

I was in an abusive marriage for 2 years but it was like for 20 years. My level of spirituality kept me through those years. I was unhappy, constantly on pains. I lost my complete self. I moved out of the marriage for a separation but I am still not happy. The memories of the past, the man, our child and family pressures still weighs me down. I barely can do anything meaningful. I hardly can think well. I think of the issue every minute even though this is the 15th month of separation. I am so depressed. Pastor or anyone should please help out.

Frau Glauben

Dear YAA, First of all I am so sorry for what you had to go through and I pray that God establish His comfort in your heart in Jesus name. Amen. First of all, please understand that the fact that your spouse was abusive to you is not your fault. No one ever deserves to be mistreated regardless of whether or not mistakes were made. There is no justification for abuse. I know that what I am about to write may sound cliché, but it is the truth- Fix your eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of your faith. Don’t get me wrong- you may feel the pain- but based on the word of God, the pain is not real. The devil wants us to believe in the pain more than the word of God. Do not observe lying vanities-Only Gods word is reality. Healing is a process. Please allow yourself time to heal. Jesus did not only heal our physical wounds but he also took away our emotional wounds. Cry on Jesus shoulders. Hold onto him. Take one day at a time. Stop blaming yourself. Draw comfort from the Word of God- the Holy Scriptures. Most importantly, please do not use the actions of a man to judge the character of God. God is love. Throughout the scriptures God delivered people from situations where they were being mistreated- like Joseph for example. Find an activity that is pleasant to you- like biking, watching a good play, reading an interesting book-or going away on a fun vacation, attending a motivational conference, sightseeing, musical concert- the change is good. Keep away from negative energy- especially people that will try to put blame on you. Spend fun time with your child. Your child should not have to see you moody all the time. Although some people are against this, there is nothing wrong with getting professional counseling if you really feel you need to. There are Christians that have the training to counsel divorced persons or survivors of abuse. Praise worship and being thankful to God works. Understand that there are thousands, if not millions of people who did not make it out of an abusive relationship alive. So, rather than regret- thank God. The children of Israel wanted to go back to Egypt where they were being oppressed just because they faced obstacles. Don’t be that way. Put your trust in God. Change the negative environment. Sometimes it may mean actually changing your church if you are not receiving the support you need. Make sure to keep only true friends & trusted family around you and not spies from the abuser. Will be praying for you because your future is bright!

I am one of the happiest people seeing as you have pulled through this situation, and not lost faith in the process. The most important thing at the end of the day is our personal salvation and relationship with God. Honestly, this was where my concerns were towards you and prayed about.... hence my immense joy to see that you have come out stronger, wiser and much better. Many years ago, I heard you teach on Love in a way I had never heard it and the impact of that message has remained with me. Many a times I have been hurt by the ones I love most, burned by those I tried to help and neglected by those called friends. But since that message, I have been unable to bear grudges or despise those who hurt me nor transfer my pains to others. For this, I will always be grateful to God for making our paths cross; always knew there was a grace upon you that makes you unique & blessed amongst women.... glad you are also discovering the you as defined by God not a spouse, children, family, congregation, etc. May God continually strengthen you and bring to completion/ perfection, your healing and all that He has purposed for you to be in Jesus Name. Amen.

YAA

So grateful JS & Fraulien. Will try out your advices. Will keep updating you on my progresses. God bless you real good.

Lade O.

Fräulein Glaube... thank you.

Ola

I feel you on this and i believe that God will perfect all that concerns you in due time. I always advocate for speaking up no matter the matter. One thing i hold in great esteem for myself is that if we truelly have the love of God in us, we would not castigate people who speak out because they can not understand or are not being carried along in any relationship; wheter marriage, work, church, family or business. It's the same principles that obtain.........Can two ( PEOPLE) walk together if they do not agree? the answer is NO. We can all walk together if we listen, respect and uncondionally love each other. I dont love my other brethren just because he does me good always, even if he has never given me a dime, i can steal love him enough to extend God's hands of help to him if i have the means to.

Tobore

Thank you Pastor for sharing with us. Getting the scissors is hard but once it's done and you cut off, you will be the happiest you've ever been. It might take a while for you to realise this but you will eventually get there.

Evelyne

Forgetting the past and reaching out for those things that are before us...If we live in the past you will for sure miss the future. Thank you pastor for giving us this great opportunity to express ourselves. We are many that needed a forum like this one. Glory!!!'

ugomma

Thanks for ur words....it wasn't easy to let go but wen I did I came back to life and saw reasons to be happy and move on.

Rudo

Oh thank you Pastor Anita for this blog. I was so excited the time I got to know about it. Pastor I love you and certainly God loves you more. It takes God to stand tall again after and amidst what you are going through. You are a champion. Pastor I was shocked to hear some of the responses that were made when your divorce issue came out to the public. I could not match what I heard as responses and what was preached in the many of the recorded messages. It was a shocker. But it made me realize that indeed, we are living in the last days where there are people who will parade as public successes while they are private failures. Continue to bless the world with your life Pastor Anita because we are out of time. Jesus is coming for the church soonest. You will forever be in my prayers. Shalom

maya

Awesome words. Just what I needed to read . The healing that comes from reading pieces like this. God bless you.

Kristen

WOW!!! I really needed this encouragement by this time last year. Last was a rough one, but I am still standing! Anyway no knowledge is lost, precious words on the marble for me.

Edidiong

Hi, coming from a very emotionally abusive marriage myself with a man who was outwardly a saint but inwardly a very crafty , cunny and wicked soul who nearly caused me to loose my peace and sanity but for God. I understand what you are going though, forgive him and lay your life in the hands of Jesus who will beautify your life and give you purpose to live for. Ask the Holy Spirit to infuse joy unspeakable into you and just learn to take one step at a time. May God fill you with his Peacee.

Chi

Ladies you need to put your husbands and worries in the hands of God. It should be a reason why a 'Christian,' man behave the way he is behaving. Is not only one person in a marriage covenant. You both agreed to establish a covenant with God when you get married. Yet our Father in heaven say to us to forgive if we want to be forgiven from our Father. What makes you ladies think that men,' wouldn't commit mistakes as such? Who is perfect? No one, yet the Lord gives us the grace to go through and the Wisdom to Build our Houses with the WORD of GOD. I suggest for all of you 'Christians,' that you through your mouth wrong confession towards your husbands or kids, to consider the scripture in Proverbs that says: "From the fruit of the mouth the man will eat." When you think you are abused... well the Word of God is in your heart and your mouth, is your turn to put things in order according to the Word. In Matthew says: Give God your worries, your own job to your problems or any abuse you are facing is to Praise and Glorify God for the abuse. We Christians we will suffer and persecuted as Jesus did, because we want to do the right thing. So get real. Continue do the right thing, even if the men or women are doing wrong. How do you know woman if you are going to be able to bring your husband under God's submission? Do you know that these husbands can come to God because of you and truly repent and come back to you. When JESUS IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE, that marriage can't never fail. Ask God to give you wisdom and knowledge of how can you work this marriage and family. STUDY THE WORD IS THE KEY. ACTING THE WORD IS THE DOOR WHICH ALLOWS THE KEY( FAITH) TO OPEN THE DOOR.

Ntswaki

Thank you Pastor. Your message healed me. God bless you much more. Much love

Solomon

Madam Rebecca, you sound like the general womenfolk who know nothing about heartache. Even if they do, they prefer to die silently just to keep up appearances. Do not judge. Do not condemn another based on your perception. Jesus will never tolerate manipulations and wickedness in marriages.

Noreen

Well said Naomi

YAA

Madam Rebecca, the original script of marriage isn't what we are having today. The stringent conditions christian women are facing today wasn't like this in the old testament. In the old testament, women were adorned by their husbands, cherished and honored. But today women are like racks before men simply because the wrongly apply scriptures "Women submit to your husbands". They are to love. Tell me a man who Loves and doesn't receive submission. Please don't place the cart before the horse. In the old testament, there was no word "submission" it was Love all through. Check out the prophets, they were in love with their spouses and their wives called them LORD. I mean if a man understands his place in God he will never manipulate nor abuse himself (ie his wife).

Sharon

Madam Rebecca, if you are inside your house which is starting to burn, will you apply the Word of God or will you grab your valuables and loved once and get out the fastest you can?? FAITH IS NOT A DENIAL OF FACTS!, You said it well "When Jesus is the Head of the House, that Marriage cant fail" i agree,, the question is, Is Jesus truly the Head or where is the abuse and manipulation in the Christian houses and marriages coming from?? Many Christians remain inside burning houses because they are afraid to be labelled "immature" or "fleshly" and so they put up with all sorts of devilish acts. We have learned to twist the Scriptures in such a way that others we are leading cannot even recognize the works of satan in our midst, we cannot recognize the spirit behind those leading, be it in our houses or institutions. We are simply blinded and told to just follow, just submit, don't ask questions. Studying the Word and applying the Word to any situation DOES NOT MEAN you must allow anybody to rule over you in an ungodly manner, because such a person IS NOT under the authority of Christ or led by the Spirit either, get the scissors and loose yourself!! Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty. If you dont find peace in your heart about any situation in your life, after you have prayed and did all you can, Get the scissors!!!, PERIOD!!

Jules

Thank you for this Pastor. I believe every experience is a lesson and there's a purpose in whatever God allows a person to go through. Personal relationship with our Lord like you said is the key. Please keep up this good work, you cant imagine the number of people you will be saving..God bless you.

HoneyD

Thank you for sharing this. It takes a lot of boldness and courage. We've been made to believe that "Christianity" means continuously taking all the bitter pills marriage throws at you regardless of whether you are miserable, dying or not, just to keep up appearances of being a "Mrs". Let's take a look @ the statistics and we will see that most woman in psychiatric hospitals today are victims of bad marriages who just chose to keep enduring until their minds could take it no longer. No doubt should we as christian women fight for our marriages and do all in our capacity to make things work. If all however proves abortive in the end, we should be courageous to pick the pieces of our lives together and let the healing power of God flow through us and strengthen us to face the glorious future God still has for us. I decided never to let my life come to a halt because I had a broken marriage. God has healed me of the hurts and bitterness and given me the grace to forgive. I am happier regardless of my marital status, knowing it not the end of my life and that God still has a glorious future for me and my kids. May God continue to comfort and strengthen us all on all sides!

Grace

You know just reading your post and people's comments, it dawned on me what enormous sacrifice you have made. You know people don't always reveal secrets about them, especially one that supposedly portrays them as 'victims', they prefer to pretend and cover up. But you didn't mind, you could as well not have said anything, and no one will question you. Nevertheless, you chose to share: you chose to let the ppl who loved you know, you chose to use yourself and experiences to educate, liberate and save the lives of many going through stuffs. So that they will no more lead embittered frustrated lives devoid of joy and ultimately land themselves in hell. U didn't care if you would be termed 'backsliden' or any other name at that. I just realised it wasn't easy for you but still you chose to do this. I realised how much you have denied yourself, and you aren't ashamed to tell your admirers what you've been through, where you've been, where you are and how you are. My Pastor Anita I am loving you loads now more than I do love you before. I can identify with what you say not others who... I pray for you that no arrow will get at you and no harm will ever go your direction. You will have God's protection per second per location, your health will blossom and ur life will become radiantly flourishing. God will straighten ur life and cause you to continue on His perfect purpose for you. Everything in your destiny which seem to have been lost God will restore to you in Jesus Name. Amen.

David

One of the ways to be emotionally healed quickly is to look away from the abuser and focus on your God given purpose. Most times when people end up leaving the abuser they still put their eyes on the abuser they still stay around the influence of the abuser and that will still keep you in an emotional bondage. Tell yourself that you are originally and uniquely made.

darey olushina

Christianity is not a bed of roses, its comes with its cross, why do we leave important matters and allow the devil to take our attention to trivial matters, Christians are being beheaded everyday in the middle east, children are starving to death in African everyday. Let christians wake up to their call, and if a pastor can file for divorce, then what will u advice your members or the world for that matter to help them keep there marriage... hmmm

PastorAnita.org

Get The Scissors

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