DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR BY LOVING YOURSELF


“Real humility is graceful power, not a mandate to be victimized and abused.” Bryant McGill

A life absent of love or care can be hard to bear. Abandonment and neglect in a relationship or marriage would be detrimental to anybody. The question is why did you hang on? People have different reasons for hanging on to an abusive relationship. However, if you are staying to keep the peace or trusting God for a change some day, when you discover the unbelievable truth, it will become obvious that you need to assess your value and self-esteem. Tolerating abuse can rob you of your identity and you can lose your own personality in the process. I had reached the point of exhaustion, but thank God for the courage to move on against all the odds.

It is a great weight on your shoulders to live a false life with false impressions, possibly to get the praise and applause of people. I mean who do we impress with living a staged life for the world to see in public, but an entirely opposite life behind closed doors?

To love yourself you have to accept yourself for who you are, not claiming to be Mrs. Jones when you are Mrs. Brown or Mr Peter when you are Mr Paul. Be happy to be you and let others accept you for who you are.

I am not ashamed of saying I am going through a divorce and I have lived as a single mother for many years. I was never ashamed of it. Friends and family accept and appreciate me for who I am and they are very accepting of me as I am of them. Recognize you have value and you deserve to be treated with respect. You must first respect yourself to know when to walk away from people who make you miserable and stay with people who love, inspire and respect you. Feel beautiful without searching for peoples approval, appreciate yourself.

It is time to make something out of your experience, financial loss, the end of your job or end of a relationship, I might appear to have lost everything in one package but life goes on. I use this as an opportunity for growth, and self-discovery. To be put down by your parents in the past or a spouse should not control your future instead begin a life long venture of personal acceptance and self-love.

It is not a sin to love yourself, recognise you are God's natural given brilliance. Themoment you love yourself, your self-esteem will grow in leaps and bounds. Fall in love with yourself andnever stop working on the best you can be.

"Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won't accept."Ann Taylor

Comments

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Fresh Dew
Thanks for this - 'Recognize you have value and you deserve to be treated with respect'. I am in a relationship and he seems to have changed. Sometimes it feels like it's all just in my head but I see his condescending attitude towards me. How emotional detached & withdrawn he has become. If I ask what the issue is, he gets agitated. I get fed up sometimes & voice my concerns, then he makes me feel like I'm crazy. I'm not usually a loud person but I've become more quiet these days. I know I should get out & I will. Just bidding my time.
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Chibuike
Hi Pastor Anita, why don't you add social media plugins so that we can share your posts easily? I want my friends to read this!!! Thanks
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Teneil
Very True Pastor. Thank you for being so open and sincere and not pretending.
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Grace O
Thank you Ma'am. Loving oneself will make one say enough is enough to demeaning Work environment, bosses, friendships, even comments. It'll make one not to run after every fashion trend and accessory just to look good and belong, but to stand out in one's own skin. I love myself and I Love you
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Nomathemba
Indeed, loving oneself actually makes it easier to love others, you are somehow continually energised on the inside. All of a sudden, l realise that the dreams that l had 10 or so years ago, that l thought were lost, dead and buried, can actually come alive!! Glory! Comment
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Tata
Feel beautiful without searching for peoples approval, appreciate yourself.I love this your statement because the most important person in your life is you.If you dont Love yourself then you cant love another person.stay blessed
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Geraldine
Wow...Madam...I love your courage and I thank God for His grace upon your life and I pray the good Lord will continue to strengthen you and grant you the required fortitude to forge on in life.
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Jennie
I used to have a misconception of who you are, but now I know better. I admire your courage and most of all, I thank you for empowering others through your words, to love God and also to love ourselves, to place value on who we are. I pray God keeps you and all that is yours. Amen
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Glory
love this tank u
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Sammy
This is really mind blowing. Never live to please man but GOD! He knows the true intend of the heart. I love you
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Tobi
Thank you so much, this is so inspiring ...I admire your courage, love you
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Solomon
I'm happy for you. God enlarges PST Anita.
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David
Hmmmm!!! This write up just made tears roll down my cheeks uncontrollable... a message to heal physically is diff from a message to heal spiritually.... This is healing of the Soul,Mind and Spirit I have been going through spiritual healing and reading your article confirms so much abt my moving forward... When people hurt us, they act to those outside like all is well and even when outsiders notice that things look a bit abnormal, then a perfect story that paints the abused as the problematic/ bitter person comes up ...so sad! Then, the most important thing is love yourself so you can be the best God created you. May God bless u more n more
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Shelly . J
Thank you so much Esteemed Pastor Anita. You are courageous and nice. I love you so much,. Thanks for standing up on your belief. Thanks for not giving up! Thanks for taking a bold step about life. God will continue to strengthen you. We the body of Christ are praying for you. Shine on woman of God! Keep on shining. You are indeed a testimony. God bless you
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Ehi
I am God's natural given brilliance! What words of comfort, inspiration and power. Pastor Anita, this article not only makes me love myself, it makes me fall more in love with Jesus. Thank you so much
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angela
Indeed loving oneself actually makes it easier to love others. Thank u pastor Anita for been an inspiration to others God bless u.
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Zgat
Thank u you so much for this piece so right on point. I greatful to God for your life, very few have the inner strength you carry may God keep u you strong in his vineyard. you are indeed grace personified, your coast and influence can only expand nobody can take your place because you are unique. Thanks a million
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JYM,Nigeria
My goodness,this is the spirit of liberty at work. I am overwhelmed at the fact that you are free to share your thoughts and experience as they are. Thank you for such sincere and refreshing words.....one thing is certain,the "House" of the Spirit will always prevail! Pastor, God is in you,with you and for you." I love meeee,....". You are a blessing
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Debs
This is very true. Loving yourself is of great importance. It helps build self confidence and not wait for other people's approval. It's part of the foundation in any relationship in my opinion. I love your honesty Pastor God bless you.
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GA
Now the tears are flowing freely. I have been in this exact environment, only on a smaller scale. God is using you to bind wounded hearts. People whose spirits are broken. It's so precious. Be strong for us.
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E.E
God will soothe the hurt, God will heal the pain, the tears will eventually dry out, and the sun will shine again. That's what keeps me going. The next thing to hell is a bad marriage, especially where the wife is neglected/ abandoned. It hurts, hurts, hurts. I call it married but single. It's unfortunate it's in the Christian community. It's been a long road to self love and discovery but getting there. Great article Pastor. Glad to have you back in our lives. You are and will always remain an epitome of a Christian woman and we know you gave your best. This temporal set back doesn't define you. You are loved by so many that are solidly behind you all the way. You are always in our prayers.
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Gods anointed
Dear Pastor, I have been strengthened by this blog, I have been in a similar situation for the past 7 years and decided, that I would remain married, but single for the rest of my life, the mental abuse and neglect has been so much. It was only this year that I decided to make a change,to leave and I am the better for it... I am loving myself for the first time in many years.. Thank you for this blog..
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Adeola Onipede
Dear Pastor Anita, I am following this blog closely and was so excited to read today's article. I am blessed and I truly agree with your message on loving yourself and having self worth regardless of whether people will accept you for who you are or not. Thank you for throwing more light on this topic. It is wisdom especially for women. Keep it coming na. More grace.
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Amy
Dear Anita, I have just visited your website and I think you are such an inspiration and your story is an authentic and beautiful one. Thanks for sharing your experience and lifting the spirit's of others, showing people that go through difficult times that there is light, always at the end of every dark tunnel. I love the fact that you mention on your home page that we can celebrate our uniqueness which is one thing I feel is missing now in the lives of many especially women. Hope to meet you one day and perhaps connect via ministry. God bless you and be with you always!!
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Tsungi
This is beautiful Pastor Anita. Thank you for your honesty & insight as you said "I am not ashamed of saying I am going through a divorce and I have lived as a single mother for many years. I was never ashamed of it." "I mean who do we impress with living a staged life for the world to see in public, but an entirely opposite life behind closed doors? " Those statements are very sobering !!! Thank God for His grace to rise above all odds & more importantly taking out time to help us discover our self worth . I'm loving my self !!!!
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sally
Sweetie, ruuuunnnnnnn!!! Run & dont look back. Those are narcissistic manipulative tendencies he is displaying. Run while u have d chance, dont enter into marriage with this person and start complaining when he begins to show all of his color. I dont care if he speaks in tongues, works miracles or sees vision, stop bidding time, run, dont look back. U can avoid the imminent abuse.
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Esther
thank you.pastor Anita . i love and appreciate your boldness . may God continue to grant you more insight .
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Lade O.
It truly "hurts, hurts, hurts." God really does understand the hurt and he will heal. - Isaiah 54:5-7(NIV) 5 For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. 6 The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. 7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
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Lade O.
It truly "hurts, hurts, hurts." God really does understand the hurt and he will heal. - Isaiah 54:5-7(NIV) 5 For your Maker is your husband— the Lord Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth. 6 The Lord will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit— a wife who married young, only to be rejected,” says your God. 7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
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joy
Wow! Such great courage that produces great words of encouragement.. I have always known you were a strong woman of character and now it shows clearly! Thank you Ma. Keep the words coming, so grateful for your sincerity.
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becky
Dear Anita, thanks for giving me these inspirational strength..... indeed loving and caring for yourself is key. More grace Pastor Anita
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becky
Dear Anita, thanks for giving me these inspirational strength..... indeed loving and caring for yourself is key. More grace Pastor Anita
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becky
Dear Anita, thanks for giving me these inspirational strength..... indeed loving and caring for yourself is key. More grace Pastor Anita
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becky
Dear Anita, thanks for giving me these inspirational strength..... indeed loving and caring for yourself is key. More grace Pastor Anita
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becky
Dear Anita, thanks for giving me these inspirational strength..... indeed loving and caring for yourself is key. More grace Pastor Anita
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Lisa
Good morning Pastor ma. Great to hear from you. I love you and always will. It is well with you. Love bears no record of wrong doing. Human being may disapoint us but we focus on our calling. Great to know you have moved on. I have missed you so so so much and thank you for all the work you did here in the UK. Thank you for the sacrifices you made. My life has greatly changed. Your sarificez were not in vain. You touched so many. I love your book wisdom for women it inspired me greatly and gave me courage to build my home.
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Lisa
Good morning Pastor ma. Great to hear from you. I love you and always will. It is well with you. Love bears no record of wrong doing. Human being may disapoint us but we focus on our calling. Great to know you have moved on. I have missed you so so so much and thank you for all the work you did here in the UK. Thank you for the sacrifices you made. My life has greatly changed. Your sarificez were not in vain. You touched so many. I love your book wisdom for women it inspired me greatly and gave me courage to build my home.
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Lisa
Good morning Pastor ma. Great to hear from you. I love you and always will. It is well with you. Love bears no record of wrong doing. Human being may disapoint us but we focus on our calling. Great to know you have moved on. I have missed you so so so much and thank you for all the work you did here in the UK. Thank you for the sacrifices you made. My life has greatly changed. Your sarificez were not in vain. You touched so many. I love your book wisdom for women it inspired me greatly and gave me courage to build my home.
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Lisa
Good morning Pastor ma. Great to hear from you. I love you and always will. It is well with you. Love bears no record of wrong doing. Human being may disapoint us but we focus on our calling. Great to know you have moved on. I have missed you so so so much and thank you for all the work you did here in the UK. Thank you for the sacrifices you made. My life has greatly changed. Your sarificez were not in vain. You touched so many. I love your book wisdom for women it inspired me greatly and gave me courage to build my home.
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Gina
Thank you Pastor for this mind blowing piece. Am really glad to hear from you again. Thank you
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Onyeka
Thank you so much Pastor Anita for this platform, i love and miss you. We just buried my kid sister last week who had been in an abusive marital relationship and kept hoping that things would change but at last had to pay with her life and leaving us all with deep regret and misery. If she had taken the right step, she would have been alive inspiring others that there is a better life out there. Recently,a lovely lady lost her life just because she wasn't supported by friends and family when she was crying out for help. She wanted to quit but was told to keep trying because of her kids. Now her life was cut short, had she known was common expression. We should all wake up to the realization that no one will understand and feel your pain like the one in it, Do not live your life thinking what people would think or say about you. My question is: Do you love yourself? Do you want to fulfill your God given purpose? then know when its time to quit if its not working. Do not be afraid to face humiliation, shame and people's judgment. As Pastor Anita puts it, you would have feeling of deep sorrow for a long time which would go on for months and years but make up your mind for a more fruitful and productive tomorrow, instead of wallowing in self pity,low self esteem and low confidence, Value yourself, Love your life and Live it to the Full.
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Onyeka
Thank you so much Pastor Anita for this platform, i love and miss you. We just buried my kid sister last week who had been in an abusive marital relationship and kept hoping that things would change but at last had to pay with her life and leaving us all with deep regret and misery. If she had taken the right step, she would have been alive inspiring others that there is a better life out there. Recently,a lovely lady lost her life just because she wasn't supported by friends and family when she was crying out for help. She wanted to quit but was told to keep trying because of her kids. Now her life was cut short, had she known was common expression. We should all wake up to the realization that no one will understand and feel your pain like the one in it, Do not live your life thinking what people would think or say about you. My question is: Do you love yourself? Do you want to fulfill your God given purpose? then know when its time to quit if its not working. Do not be afraid to face humiliation, shame and people's judgment. As Pastor Anita puts it, you would have feeling of deep sorrow for a long time which would go on for months and years but make up your mind for a more fruitful and productive tomorrow, instead of wallowing in self pity,low self esteem and low confidence, Value yourself, Love your life and Live it to the Full.
O
Onyeka
Thank you so much Pastor Anita for this platform, i love and miss you. We just buried my kid sister last week who had been in an abusive marital relationship and kept hoping that things would change but at last had to pay with her life and leaving us all with deep regret and misery. If she had taken the right step, she would have been alive inspiring others that there is a better life out there. Recently,a lovely lady lost her life just because she wasn't supported by friends and family when she was crying out for help. She wanted to quit but was told to keep trying because of her kids. Now her life was cut short, had she known was common expression. We should all wake up to the realization that no one will understand and feel your pain like the one in it, Do not live your life thinking what people would think or say about you. My question is: Do you love yourself? Do you want to fulfill your God given purpose? then know when its time to quit if its not working. Do not be afraid to face humiliation, shame and people's judgment. As Pastor Anita puts it, you would have feeling of deep sorrow for a long time which would go on for months and years but make up your mind for a more fruitful and productive tomorrow, instead of wallowing in self pity,low self esteem and low confidence, Value yourself, Love your life and Live it to the Full.
O
Onyeka
Thank you so much Pastor Anita for this platform, i love and miss you. We just buried my kid sister last week who had been in an abusive marital relationship and kept hoping that things would change but at last had to pay with her life and leaving us all with deep regret and misery. If she had taken the right step, she would have been alive inspiring others that there is a better life out there. Recently,a lovely lady lost her life just because she wasn't supported by friends and family when she was crying out for help. She wanted to quit but was told to keep trying because of her kids. Now her life was cut short, had she known was common expression. We should all wake up to the realization that no one will understand and feel your pain like the one in it, Do not live your life thinking what people would think or say about you. My question is: Do you love yourself? Do you want to fulfill your God given purpose? then know when its time to quit if its not working. Do not be afraid to face humiliation, shame and people's judgment. As Pastor Anita puts it, you would have feeling of deep sorrow for a long time which would go on for months and years but make up your mind for a more fruitful and productive tomorrow, instead of wallowing in self pity,low self esteem and low confidence, Value yourself, Love your life and Live it to the Full.
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Josephine barkham
Dear Pastor I am touched , may God continued to use you to affect and change lives there is more grace for you. Love you
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Zoe
I'm just thankful for God's Faithfulness and revealing His grace and how He bind the broken hearted so we can sow again like eagles. Thank you for the platform, may our heavenly Father continue to increase you and heal every hurt as He restore you with the latter glory Pastors Anita.
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henry tokula
It's incredible how strong we can become once we do not wallow in self pity and be bold enough to move on in another direction.Sometimes we move into uncharted waters with all the uncertainties that come with it.The point is to make that move and be rid of the mask that people knew to be you.I'm inspired when I see anyone whose made it through a lot and is still hanging on in there.wish you the best as you move on with your life.
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Gokeoluby
am so glad to hear this inspired words from you. I love you Pastor Anita. your come back is great; you were really missed.
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Gokeoluby
yes. it will help a lot of people when shared on soc media.
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Chukwu emmanue
Good blog. But I am sure you are endowed with more gifts by God than writing a blog. Come home and rescue the millions of people trapped in deceit and hypocrisy of the highest order. The new craze for money branded as Christianity is gaining grand every day. Come back home dear sister and start a church that will point us towards the truth and light. That may be your restitution for being part of the deceit which CE has become with its craze for money, lucre and worldly pleasures. Come home and start a church.
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John
Awesome!!!!!
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zara juliet Egbuobi
Am speechless pastor! Anyway more grace
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Maxxie
Dear Fresh Dew This post is so apt. I've been in your shoes and its really not worth it . The time to exit is now - love yourself enough to walk away with your dignity intact. The sooner you get on the road to recovering your love for you the better.
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Theresa Okeke
Thank you so much Pastor Anita! I thank God for you, thank you for been so brave and daring to stand out from the crown of phony people, thank you for taking a stand in what you believe! When I asked questions like how come Rev Anita lives in London, I am being told and its for gospel sake, you have endured enough! I was wondering why it was only in one ministry that such things exist! We know of great ministers of God when shook the world for Jesus but lived with their wives! Billy Graham never had his wife in a different country and lived apart from her, he only went on crusades and came back to his wife and children! You are a very courageous woman. We love and appreciate you.
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Itohan
There are many Christians raised by God for the healing of the body but very few are stepping into their calling for the healing of the soul. I had been waiting and checking everyday for this last post, it's worth the wait.
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Joseph A
I am God natural given brilliance! Thank you Pastor!
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stella
She looks lovely. But she didn't do d right thing by leaving d husband. Such a thing should not be heard from someone of her level of spirituality. The bible says that God hates divorce and that if any man or woman divorce the partner, then such a one should remain single for life. Becos is such person remarries then he/she has committed adultery. So in this case now whereby she's angry that her husband does not give her attention (sexual satisfaction) cos of his too many christian activities, how will she now get d satisfaction or attention? Except she's planning to remarry or start dating small small boys and this will mean committing adultery. Well it's her life but to me as far as the man those not beat her or abuse her or refuses to take care of her, then it is irrelevant. A broken home is not the best in her own case especially when children is involved. I tot she was very spiritual but this her case of divorcing d man based on this excuse is shocking. I love pastor Anita so much but this her new way of finding joy is simply contrary to her level in christianity
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Chinelo
Dear Pastor, surely God has graced you with unusual boldness and courage! You may never know how much God has achieved through you but there is yet more! Thank you for daring to stand for what you know is right! God will keep you, He will preserve you! Indeed, "... all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose" Rom 8:28. God is at work in you and through you! Shine on Woman of God!
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B.B
Thank pastor for not patronising falsehood in the name of the Gospel
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Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
A
Augustina Erah
Inspiring words. words that heals the soul. Thank you pastor
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Emmanuel
I disagree with you when you say "be in love with your life". If Jesus had loved his own self we would not have come to die for us.Rather love others as you love yourself. It is just a contribution.
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Emmanuel
I disagree with you when you say "be in love with your life". If Jesus had loved his own self we would not have come to die for us.Rather love others as you love yourself. It is just a contribution.
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John
How can you say you love your wife but cannot spend Christmas dinner with her. You come to programs in the UK and sleep in hotels. Very pathetic. I cherish my wife and children that I cannot stay 1 month away from them. I see Pastors like Joel Osteen, T D Jakes living with their wives. Let the truth be told. Pastor Anita God have given you strength to overcome and you have won the battle.
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Tony
There is a new move in the body of Christ today bringing true liberation to Church. Those who are discerning enough can attest to this truth. Glad to be part of this move that will herald the coming of the Lord. Welcome back my dear Pastor Anita.
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ChristinE
thank you for always being a blessing and an example. Even then, when I watched you, you are one pastor's wife like no other, so humble, so godly, down-to-earth and just... a christian, beyond all the positions, you are a follower of Christ. I appreciate you so much, we have been praying for you in my home and I bless God for your journey of healing.... you are a woman after God's own heart indeed. Looking outside yourself to be a source of encouragement and restoration for others. As you do for us, God will flood you with His peace, Shalom shalom, round about and hold you in His embrace. Only He knows everything and can heal completely and I thank Him for that. This storm came and shook a lot, but it opened our eyes to revisit the foundation of our walk with God, many of us now are like the Berean Christians, searching the scriptures and not following men, hero-worshipping and just remaining on the level of 'pastor said pastor said'. We now have a deep desire to know God for ourselves, clean up our house and be prepared for Christ's coming. Thank you a million times! People are castigating you, but they don't know, they have no idea, its between you and God. For we will all stand before Him individually on that day. This is still a race, a personal one. You are a light, you stood and are still standing for truth and godliness. I am glad you are smiling, at peace and a new page has been opened in your life. Thank you for the sacrifices, for burning your life for the Kingdom all these years, some people don't understand, but your labour of love is not, never in vain. You are unstoppable, you and God are an unbeatable team. I appreciate you and I still pray for you and all that concerns you... thanks a million. You are blessed and a huge blessing... goodness and mercy is following you already as you rest in the Father's love. I love you !
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Lekan olawoye
Wow. This piece is such a refreshing and liberating one. Pastor Anita you have delved into something that we take for granted, appreciating our selves. Also, you have used your experience to convey the message and drive it deeper into our consciousness. Henceforth, I will not feel guilty about loving and appreciating me. I am who God says I am and I can do what He says I can do. Thank you for opening up our souls to this fresh reasoning by opening up yours. Love you as always. Lekan Olawoye( daddylakes)
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Lekan olawoye
Wow. This piece is such a refreshing and liberating one. Pastor Anita you have delved into something that we take for granted, appreciating our selves. Also, you have used your experience to convey the message and drive it deeper into our consciousness. Henceforth, I will not feel guilty about loving and appreciating me. I am who God says I am and I can do what He says I can do. Thank you for opening up our souls to this fresh reasoning by opening up yours. Love you as always. Lekan Olawoye( daddylakes)
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chique
Very inspiring. Many thanks.
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Abiola Akolade
It is important that everyone should assess their relationships at this time. Your wife, your staff at work or younger ones may have tagged you as an abuser , However this site is not to destroy anyones character or ministry but an opportunity for genuine repentance and retracing of steps. Nobody is attacking anyone on this platform so there is no cause for war especially for those who see such writeup as casting aspersions on their character. When you go around with a hammer, everything around seems like a nail. It is not everyone that has an opposing view to yours that is an enemy and it is not all the yes ma and yes sir around you that agree with everything you say that are friends. Life is interesting, put away your pride and have genuine conversation with a loved one to know if you have been fair in the way you treat them and their views. Pastor Anita i love you to the moon and back, i am sure u know that
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Pastor (Dr.) Toni Aburime
2 TIMOTHY 3 (NIV) "1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be LOVERS OF THEMSELVES, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone."
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Pastor (Dr.) Toni Aburime
2 TIMOTHY 3 (NIV) "1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be LOVERS OF THEMSELVES, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone."
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engr ramon
2sam 1:Tell it not in Gath, proclaim it not in the streets of Ashkelon, lest the daughters of the Philistines be glad, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised rejoice..in as much as I am getting blessed by this we shd be careful what we say here.we must constantly defend the gospel,his ministers and the church of jesus despite our feelings or their obvious faults.we must present a united front to the world against all odds.everyone has scars for the gospel,for jesus it was nails on the cross,we shd see our experiences as scars for the gospel.the biggest amplifier of Satan's voice today is the church against the church.we allow our offences get away with us.[apologetics,polemics]
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Julia
Beautifully spoken!
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Julia
Beautifully spoken!
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Lade O.
True and truth. God bless you Christine.
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geryy
Thanks
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Ehi
The Lord instructed us to love as He has loved us. Could it be because He knows that if we do not love as He has loved us, we would not be able to love our neighbour as ourselves. I say this because to love as He has loved us, we have to first find out how He has loved us. I am still yet to find anyone who has gone on the journey of knowing God's love for him and has not fallen in love with himself. The love Pastor Anita is speaking about here will only be recognised by someone who knows how God loves them, or someone whose heart is open to experience God's love. I fell in love with who I am when I discovered who God is as love and just how amazingly much He loves me. With loving myself, I appreciate people more, I value people more, I truly love others because I see God in them and I know how much He loves them. This is freedom. I am free to be me without any fears and I am able to allow others to be themselves around me without any fears. This is freedom!!
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Precious Shabangu
I have accepted and tolerated the inappropriate behavior in a man for the long time in my life in the name of love.I was married by the paper.I have chosen to forgive myself and move forward.The same strength I used to tolerate that behavior,I use it to walk away from the unhappy situation.I have vote for myself.I love you Anita ,Yet am still shocked about your journey,I never thought that I can share the same journey with you.I have lots of question for God.But is also in encouraging to know am not alone.It's possible I can began again.
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Pearl
Dear Beloved Pastor Anita I just want to thank you for speaking to me in this blog. I am a ministers wife and for the past 15 years I have been living a lie ...a life of pretense and deception.A happily painted marriage when infact everything is a lie..I am not happy and I am crumbling inside. The first year into my marriage I caught my husband in bed in our matrimonial home with another woman. I should have walked out then but so many things raced through my mind in the middle of all the hurt and pain. What would people think of me in the church my family my relatives friends etc???? Where would I go with my new born child. Above all it was the shame of being associated with a failed marriage considering our high standing in society so I stayed and fifteen years later the story of infidelity has not changed and is a reality . He preaches the gospel with signs and wonders following and people's lives are transformed but yet there is this dark cloud following ..the pain the fighting and the emotional abuse and manipulation. Its as if he knows I will not go anywhere I will stick with it. After reading your articles it like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. I know what to do. Thank you and I love you I admire you for your courage
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Nkem ndiche-onyejizu
wonderful dear pastor anita. Jesus loves me and died for me. i love me cause i was worth dying for.the church of Jesus must stand against the ugly demon and reality of abuse
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Nkem ndiche-onyejizu
wonderful dear pastor anita. Jesus loves me and died for me. i love me cause i was worth dying for.the church of Jesus must stand against the ugly demon and reality of abuse
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Nkem ndiche-onyejizu
wonderful dear pastor anita. Jesus loves me and died for me. i love me cause i was worth dying for.the church of Jesus must stand against the ugly demon and reality of abuse
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angela
Thank you pastor, this is very true because the bible asks us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves however we cannot do this unless we first learn to love ourselves properly.
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Elsie
May God bless you continuously @John
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Abbey Phronesis
Thank you for such inspiring words. God bless you
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Vivi
I totally agree with you.
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Seyi Shines
Thanks Pastor Anita for using your story to help and motivate others, God is taking you to greater heights ma ,God bless you
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Seyi Shines
Thanks Pastor Anita for using your story to help and motivate others, God is taking you to greater heights ma ,God bless you
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Ugo
I'm happy to come across your blog Pastor Anita. You were my Pastor in Ojo before you left for the Uk. The few years you were my Pastor I really appreciated God's Grace upon you. I'm thankful to God for making you stronger and may this blog continue to win souls for the kingdom of God and continue to bring Glory to God. Keep up the good works. The Lord is your strength.
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Scot
I knew what you went through was very painful,but your God will see you through in Jesus Name.Please ma keep zeal and fire burning for Christ.
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Janet
I would forever be grateful Pastor Anita for this wondeful article. As I read through this, it was as if you were directly talking to me and I felt a great relief. God bless you real good for changing my perspective about loving myself first. I lived with a man who abuses me physically, emotionally and psycologically for ten years and the moment I made up my mind to move on with my life, I experienced rapid success in areas of my life that were dormant for years. Thank you for being an inspiration. You are a blessing to this generation and I believe that God would continue to strengthen you in all ways. I am always looking forward to your latest article.
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Nike
The ultimate revelation and definition of God is Love. No one can love except he or she fears the Lord and loves the Lord. it is human to err but divine to forgive. We are all imperfect... Abuse in marriage is personal and diverse.it is only the one that feels it knows it. Sis. Anita the joy of the Lord will always be our strength in Jesus name.
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Nike
The ultimate revelation and definition of God is Love. No one can love except he or she fears the Lord and loves the Lord. it is human to err but divine to forgive. We are all imperfect... Abuse in marriage is personal and diverse.it is only the one that feels it knows it. Sis. Anita the joy of the Lord will always be our strength in Jesus name.
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Glo
There are several other pastors wife who are going through hell in their marriages, but are pretending to be okay... The news of your divorce shook me!!!! I stopped reading materials, i stopped listening to tapes, I was angry, I had too many questions! Why in the world should this happen... But again, we would all stand individually before God on that day and answer for ourselves... Am glad to know you're doing OK and still forging ahead strongly.
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Henry
Well said.
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MA
Very well said. A saying in my local dialect translates 'what you will not take as a rich man, it is from when you are poor that you start to reject it'. It is important to know oneself, especially one's identity in God, so that you are not tossed around by the fickleness of humanity nor walked over by personalities who know not how to respect boundaries.
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Lade O.
Pearl- it is great that you can reveal this. There is so much the church(brethren) do not know. They are constantly being decieved by miracles - signs and wonders- that they cannot see the obvious. God is Holy and in Him is no darkness at all. Where there is immorality, greed or any muckiness - ask questions and demand an answer!
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B.B
Good morning pastor, it is me again. I had written you earlier in an inbox, though I didn't get a respond, but just but reading your blog daily and reading people's stories and comments, I got all my questions answered. Thank you so so much and God bless you... I'm so exited to share this with you: So yesterday night my dear husband started one of his usual tantrums; he called me into the bedroom when he didn't say a thing but rather started playing game on a phone, I just picked my bible and started reading, then worshiping... he then angry ask me to stop and ask me why I didn't ask him why he called me. I apologised my usual way; But he went on and on telling me how un-understanding and incompetent and inadhesive I'm to learning. And I was like. "STOP! STOP NOW! I REFUSE TO BE MANIPULATED. I REFUSE TO BE ABUSED... YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY OR INADEQUATE... I WILL ENJOY THIS MARRIAGE AND BE BLEST IN THIS MARRIAGE. AND YOU BETTER START LEARNING TO TREAT ME RIGHT IF YOU WANT YOUR PRAYER ANSWERED... YOU BETTER START LOVING ME AS CHRIST LOVE THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIS LIFE FOR HER...IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER FOR LONGER THAN NECESSARY. I DIDN'T SAY IT, THE BIBLE DID. I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER YOU NEVER MARRIED BECAUSE RIGHT NOW YOU PROSPERITY TO TIED TO ME. IF YOU KEEP TREATING ME THE WAY YOU DO, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A DOWNWARD SLOP AROUND THE CORNER FOR YOU. NO GRACE WILL FREE YOU FROM THIS, IT'S A PRINCIPLE. ONE WILL CHASE A THOUSAND BUT TWO, TEN THOUSAND... IF YOU WANT EXTRAORDINARY RESULT IN YOUR LIFE THEN START LOVING ME RIGHT AND KNOW NOW THAT YOU NEED ME AS MUCH AS I NEED YOU... AS FOR ME I WILL NOT BE VICTIMISE. I WILL BE HAPPY BECAUSE GOD KNOWS IT IS NOT FROM ME BUT YOU WILL BE MISERABLE... Then he said: DID YOU LEARN THIS FROM PASTOR ANITA''s BLOG?(he had found you blog too and didn't tell me hahaha) I said YES I DID. And for the first time ever my husband allowed me have the last words And this morning he told me not to worry we are going to be fine and he is not like other men... HAHAHA. HALLELUJAH! You will understand how joyful I am if your marriage is as young as mine and experience physical and emotional abuses from the word go. TESTIMONIES HAVE STARTED COMING I thank God for his wisdom and solutions in his word and I thank God for you pastor Anita for challenging me to take a stand through God's word to enjoy my marriage. I will continue to speak these words to my hobby UNTIL it grows mightily and prevail. I hope this help someone out there. Anyone out there that is suffering one way other the other, may the Lord bless your soul and give you peace and joy. There is nothing God can not do.
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Londongal
You are VERY brave and I salute your courage - Nigeria needs more women like you for inspiration that it can be done. Thank you for living a life of authenticity and truth, you are amazing!
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ok
God be will. i love u
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Ola
So true! You can't give love if you dont for the life of you know what love entails. The best way to love others stems fom how you love yourself. Love naturally makes you respect another; regardless of thier own short-comings!
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Ola
Waoh! You are one brave woman and i love your bravity. Yes, all you said was necessary and though many can choose their own formats of delivering it but it depends on personality of the other person involved. Some people need it subtle whilst others want it like a blow. Bottom line is......the prosperity of a marriage lies in the hands of the two people involved; loving and respecting each other as Christ commands. No one is superior in marriage otherwise it could have been called a slave-master union.
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Charity
Dear Pastor Ma, It's such a privilege to read your messages. Thank you for being such a blessing.
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rosary
u are suffering frm self confidence dats y you are trying tn explain what happnd in ur marriage.stop calling yourself pastor.
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Zgat
Great testimonies are coming through this blog, thank u ma your light is shining ever brighter God bless u and love so much
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Bola P
Dearest Pastor Anita, it takes a lot of courage and efficacy to reach out to the world so gracefully. You are indeed what this generation has longed and prayed for. I appreciate the gift of God in you and sincerely humbled to be a part of this platform. Much love for being a true inspiration to victims out there.
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carol
Bless you sis
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Truthful
But the bible says love others as you love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how can you show love to other people? That may actually be the root of many problems today. People who don't love themselves and therefore cannot show love to others.
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Danielle
Wow!!! it 's a lot of courage to write this Pastor. it 's a new day, i hope this will inspire many christian's women, not to live theirs marriages,but to love themself for who they are . Love you
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Evelyne
How so true,Pastor. There is so much going on behind closed doors when projectors go off when Mrs or Mr leaves the stage. Loving yourself, valuing yourself and being a blessing to others are the main things. It all about seing you the way God sees you.
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samuel
That same thing happened to me, I felt like all I had been listening to in messages were fake, I stopped going to church and I don't know if am wrong or right cos when u take people as role models and they fail u begin to wonder...
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blessing
In Life you can not give what you don't have. so if you don't love yourself, how can you Love others.
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Sunmi Sijuade
Dear Pastor Anita, words fail me in expressing my utmost gratitude to God for His immense faithfulness and love towards His children - it is a WONDER! I cannot recollect a time in my life that I was greatly challenged to stand for Integrity, so much so that I had to look for the meaning of the word INTEGRITY in many, many places 0 but darn, was I proud I did when the opportunity came. Standing alone with my JESUS. The scriptures have come alive in my heart like it never has – my eyes are beholding beautiful things and I know peace like I never known before. I am singing the beautiful song, “I’ve got my mind made up and I won’t turn back, because I want to see my Jesus someday X2....” Pastor, thank you for helping many of us the way you did (only you could have been the most appropriate ‘instrument’ our Father could have used. I know that many more will be impacted by your life. Please always remember that you are VERY special to me, absolutely loved and treasured and that’s why I call you MOTHER. You stood tall and I and many others are standing tall with you. I LOVE YOU!!
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Sonia
People of God, we seriously need to stand up and promote zero tolerance for abuse of any kind. Sadly, some people are blinded with materialism and selfishness thus, suppressing innocence and justice. What a world we live in?
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Theodora Ediale
I have been down and do understand. I have recovered and rediscovered myself and my essence. Thank you for this inspiring write up. God bless you and continue to strengthen you in yoir journey of recovery
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Dora
You seem to have misunderstood what Pastor Anita was saying. Jesus Christ' mission was to die and He did for us. Paul in Romans 12:3 says not think ourselves more highly than we should. It didn't say not to. If you don't love yourself it will be easy for you to be manipulated, you will fall victim to abusersand you will have an approval addiction syndrome. So, she knows what she is talking about. She has been down that road so have I. That is the whole essence of the gospel He has said so that we may boldly say. Hebrews 13:5. You cannot be a bold person if you have self esteem issues it comes from not loving you. You feel something is missing in your person.
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CROWN
I sincerely appreciate the posts and comments but they only talk about women who are abused by their husbands. What do you say to the 'other lady' who the husbands cheats on his wife with, bearing in mind that the lady may not be doing it because she likes it but maybe because she is compelled to do so because the man in question may either be her 'pastor' and/or her 'boss' and it would not be accepted if she declines or says no, so she has to hurt another woman just to please her self centered 'boss'. What do you say to such a lady? how does she break free from that bondage of being used?
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Dora
he bible says A man is drawn away when is tempted of his own lust and that leads to sin and sin leads to death. We all have choices in this life so we decide on what we want except someone who has a self esteem issue and the only way to deal with this is to do what God says it will give you the right esteem. End that relationship and run for your life. When the devil shows you a commodity he doesn't show you the price tag. So my dear tell whoever is in this state to flee
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Ehi
Dear Crown, I am so glad you shared this. Truth is, Jesus Christ already freed her from this bondage. Life is full of choices. Even choices we make because we feel compelled to, don't have to be made. We make choices based on our principles. What is most important to her? What are her standards? When we make choices based on the word of God, be sure that God will back us up. It may be hard, we may go through some difficulties and maybe even people turning away from us, but we will come out victorious in the end. What you have described is also a form of abuse; she is being abused by her pastor or boss, and she is also abusing herself. She should recognize her value, trust God, and walk away from it. She should not fear what man can do to her because God will stand by and for her. She should decide and choose not to be the cause of another woman's pain. Whatever she thinks being with the man is providing her is nothing compared to what God can and will provide her, if she will just trust God. She should be in love with her life enough to RUN away from this situation, because she is much more valuable than that.
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hadassah
Flesh and blood has not reveal this to you Brother, absolutely truth! I said the same.
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Mecuzee
How true this is! Someone I respect so much said this of His late father, Prophet Kobus Van Rensburg: "The Basic stuff my Dad taught me outshines all the Big Revelations - Love, Forgive and Never loose your Peace".
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Chinelo Eze
It couldn't have been answered any better - thank you Daphne! We cannot justify immorality! Christians should have principles, values, convictions that can be traced to God's word. INTEGRITY seems to be a missing word in the dictionary/vocabulary of some christians - may God help us!